When it comes to romance, money might not be the first thing that springs to mind – but it’s important to consider how financially compatible you are.

A quarter (23%) of people say they’ve disagreed with their partner about money in the previous three months, according to a survey from credit card provider Vanquis (vanquis.co.uk).

And nearly two-fifths (38%) of people in a relationship admit they approach money very differently to their partner.

Having different approaches to money isn’t necessarily a bad thing – for example, one of you may be a spender and the other a saver, and by working together and having conversations you could balance each other out.

But honest discussions are key. If you feel awkward or embarrassed about asking someone you are still getting to know about financial matters, Vanquis has worked with psychologist Dr Audrey Tang to get the ball rolling.

Tang suggests it’s crucial for couples to discuss money. “Sidestepping the issue – even at the early stages of a relationship – could lead to trouble down the line, as it can reveal key insights into long-term compatibility,” she says.

Tang and Vanquis have come up with five simple questions to help couples work out if they are on the same page financially…

1. ‘If money were no object, what would you be doing right now?’

This question will reveal how big your aspirations are in life, and if they are similar to your partner’s.

“If your partner dreams about living out of a camper van and sleeping out under the stars, and you aspire to stay in five-star hotels and fly first class, there may be compatibility issues when it comes to how you want to spend your money,” says Tang – but if you have similar life goals, you can start having conversations about saving up to make those dreams a reality.

2. ‘What are your financial priorities for the next five years?’

“Sadly, the nicer things in life don’t come for free – so it’s important to consider your personal goals, and how much they will cost,” advises Tang.

Thinking about a certain time period, such as the next five years, will help you consider what you could practically achieve. “Do you want to own your own home, have children, travel the world or drive a nice car? You’ll then need to negotiate what is most important to you as a couple.”

For example, this could mean a joint desire to travel replaces a big wedding.

3. ‘How long have you been paying your own bills?’

“This question can tell you a lot about your partner’s relationship with money,” says Tang. “Not least the age they considered themselves financially independent from their family. It can also help to raise the subject of financial support from an outside source.”

If someone still receives money from their parents it might point towards past financial problems, or perhaps there could be other reasons – for example, they took longer to get onto the career ladder.

“You could also consider whether those providing for your partner may feel they can have a ‘say’ in financial decisions that affect you, both now and in the future.”

4. ‘What are your thoughts on long-term planning, such as retirement?’

Tang says: “If you are diligently saving for your future, this behaviour is likely to be important to you, and it’s also likely you’ll need a partner who respects that. If you are carefree and take each day as it comes, then you might feel restricted by a partner who always needs to have a financial plan in place.”

Whatever your attitude to the future, you need to discuss how finances will be managed between the two of you, as it may mean one person is more reliant on the other.

5. ‘How have you been managing your money during the pandemic?’

“This could potentially reveal not only long-term behaviours but also how they respond to an unexpected life challenge,” says Tang.

“Did they spend their commuting savings on designer clothes during lockdown? Were they buying to make themselves feel better? Were they living outside their means, and the pandemic helped them regroup? Did they donate to charity and help the community?

“Funnily enough, you might even be able to interchange the word ‘money’ with ‘time’ and gain an even deeper insight!”