16 August 2023

Holly Willoughby’s Wylde Moon website has started an important conversation about ‘orgasm anxiety’ – here’s why it matters

16 August 2023

Holly Willoughby’s Wylde Moon website published an essay about ‘orgasm anxiety’ on Monday – and it’s got a lot of people talking.

The five-minute read shared by the 42-year-old TV presenter’s lifestyle brand platform (not written by her) has started a much needed conversation about the impact ‘orgasm anxiety’ has on a lot of women.

In the piece, ‘orgasm anxiety’ is described as being “a real thing” which “affects a lot of women”. It goes on to say: “Only around 50% of women will truly reach orgasm during sex, and this anxiety has a lot to do with it.”

The essay – written by Kate Lucey with advice from sexual health and wellness expert Sarah Mulindwa – elaborates further, describing the issue as: “That nagging feeling in the back of your mind that tells you that you’re not doing something right or that you’re broken because you can’t reach orgasm like everyone else seems to.

“It’s the pressure you put on yourself to perform, the fear of disappointing yourself or your partner, and generally being so distracted during sex that you’ll never end up reaching orgasm anyway… and so the cycle continues.”

The post even made a light-hearted reference to Regé-Jean Page’s role as the Duke of Hastings in the Netflix period drama Bridgeton: “When a show or a film has a scripted sex scene with a straight couple, all it seems to take is a man unzipping his fly for a woman to start to feel herself in the throes of orgasm (which, to be fair, could be a reasonable representation of shagging the Duke from Bridgerton…).”

The essay on the popular platform – which was launched by Willoughby on September 19, 2021, after she sent out a newsletter asking readers to ‘join us on a journey of self-discovery’ – also shared tips from sexual wellbeing experts on how to overcome orgasm anxiety.

In particular, Sarah Mulindwa, a sex and sexual health expert for LoveHoney, advised that “one way to stop thinking about having an orgasm is to focus on the sensations and pleasure of the moment rather than the end result.”

Another piece of advice Mulindwa shared was not to fake an orgasm. She explained this could lead to your partner continuing “to use the same techniques that are not working for you”, which could lead to “frustration and dissatisfaction for both partners”, as well as causing you to feel “disconnected from your partner”.The essay ended by offering some reassurance that “orgasm anxiety is a common issue” and a reminder that “there is no right or wrong way to experience pleasure during sex”.

It added: “Whether or not you reach orgasm, what matters most is that you’re enjoying yourself and connecting with your partner.

“So let’s stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to perform, and instead focus on exploring our bodies, communicating with our partners, and enjoying the fun side of sex.”

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