Why losing an argument can actually be great (sometimes)

Woman shrugging
Woman shrugging
11:09am, Tue 11 May 2021
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Oh the rush of winning an argument: you feel powerful, smart, right. But sometimes, disagreements don’t quite pan out how you want them to.

Maybe there can be no clear winner, and the bickering drags on and on until everyone involved feels rubbish and annoyed at each other. That’s why – every so often – we advocate losing an argument.

Of course, we’re not saying you have to back down on a topic that’s extremely important and close to your heart. We’re just saying it can be best to call it a night on some of the sillier arguments you find yourself in sometimes, like that time you spent four hours yelling down the phone at a friend (one of you thought the ending of Line Of Duty was brilliant, the other, a catastrophe). Sometimes, backing away from a painful argument is the best thing you can do for your self-preservation and mental health.

Twitter user @Lionezz__ has gone viral for her take on losing, tweeting: “Normalize losing arguments on purpose so you can go on with your day.” The sentiment has obviously struck a chord, as the tweet has racked up 9k likes – and climbing.

From a young age, we’re taught to strive to be winners – but sometimes, losing an argument really is the best course of action…

It’s good to feel humble every so often… After all, no one likes a big head.

It can save friendships… How many massive fights have you had about something silly and insignificant? Calling it early could save quite a bit of heartache.

It gives you drive… Any kind of losing – even if it’s just a small argument with your brother – can be character building. It can help you reevaluate where you’re at, and strive to do better in the future.

You can gain respect… Just by admitting you were wrong – something so many of us find practically impossible to do.

But it doesn’t mean you have to make a grovelling apology… Sometimes saying ‘OK’ and changing the subject will do.

Sometimes you just won’t win… So it’s better to call it early, rather than potentially get into a bigger bust-up. You can still think you’re right – it’s more about taking the high road.

It can save you pain… Maybe you’re fighting about something extremely personal and important, and the other side is only causing you pain. We’re not saying you have to ‘lose’ this argument, but backing away might be the best thing you can do for your mental health. We’d particularly apply this to arguing with trolls on social media – sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is ignore them.

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