For parents who’ve spent years supervising their children on family holidays, that first break without the kids once they’re old enough to be left alone should be pure, relaxed bliss.

Except, that is, for the fact that if their teenage kids have been left home alone, there’s the persistent worry about what they’re getting up to in the house on their own. And if they’re eating. And feeding the dog. And – perhaps the biggest parental fear of all –  if they’re planning to have a party which the whole social media world will try to attend.

“Not surprisingly, parents can feel apprehensive about leaving teens on their own for the first time when they go abroad, worrying that because teens and their friends know they have a ‘free’ house, they’ll hold a party that could get out of control,” says Tanith Carey, co-author with Dr Angharad Rudkin of What’s my teenager thinking? Practical Child Psychology for Modern Parents (DK, priced £16.99).

Carey explains that teens are more prone to take risks because their brain’s pre-frontal cortex, which helps them take more responsible decisions, isn’t yet fully developed. In addition, they’re highly socially motivated, can underestimate their ability to deal with challenging situations, and are eager to test their independence, she warns.

Here are Carey’s tips on how parents can relax a little more on holiday when they leave their teens alone at home for the first time.

1.  Let their track record reassure you (or not)

It’s important to take your teenager’s track record into account, explains Carey, who says: “If your child has been responsible in other areas, like doing tasks you’ve requested around the house, and is showing signs of learning to see how their decisions affect you, then you have a little less to worry about.”

But she warns that if your child is on the spectrum for ADD or ADHD and has a history of impulsive behaviour, and also lying, then “you may have to think more carefully”.

2.  Enlist neighbours’ and family help

If you’re on good terms with your neighbours, get them onside, especially if they have or have had teens themselves, as they’re likely to understand your worries, says Carey, who points out that as well as neighbours being on the look-out for any problems, they will be useful for any emergency support your teen may (hopefully not) need. “This will send the message there’s an adult network in place if they need it, and also that any raves at your property won’t go unnoticed,” says Carey. “If you have family living nearby, tell them you’re trusting your teen to be home alone but also ask if they will also be on hand, and give your teens a list of contacts.”

3.  Suggest an outdoor party

Your teen may tell you they have no plans for a party, but secretly be organising one. Carey points out that it may be worth parents suggesting that if they want to party, teens should organise any get-togethers with friends outside in the park, so they (and you) don’t have to worry about any damage. “See it from their point of view,” says Carey. “It’s summer, exams are over, they’re young, they want to have fun. Tell them you understand all that and hope they understand you also need a chance to relax.”

Carey says teens learn best from experience, and points out that her own daughter, who’s now 18, had a Halloween party that got wildly out of control when she was 16. “She will not mind me saying that it was one of the most stressful nights of her life and one that she’s never wanted to repeat,” she says. “But at the end of the day, pretty much all messes can be cleared up.”

4. Have an alcohol discussion

Many parents fear teens will get extremely drunk in their absence, and Carey certainly advises parents to make sure any alcohol stocks in the house are low or non-existent before they go away, and to have an open conversation with their teen about the risks of alcohol.

“Expecting they won’t have a drop is unrealistic,” she says. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t pass on your values on the topic. Talk about how noticing when they’ve had enough and alcohol is impairing their decision-making or behaviour is an important life skill, and that they put themselves and others at risk if they don’t look for the signs. They may roll their eyes, but they are still listening.”

5. Invest in a doorbell camera

One extra layer of security when parents go away is a doorbell camera, suggests Carey. “Wherever you go, this will give you peace of mind,” she says, as it will show you exactly who’s entered your home. “Also, if they feel pressured by friends into throwing a party, they can use this as a convenient excuse not to. It gives them a face-saving reason they can use to stand up to peer pressure.”

6. Will they eat pizza for a fortnight?

With regards to meals, if you have more than one teenager, suggest teamwork and cooking together. You’ll need to do a pre-holiday shop for food they’ll actually eat, which hopefully will amount to not just pizza and pasta. Ask them if they’d like you to leave some meals in the freezer. “Teens are more likely to act responsibly if they are part of the decision-making process,” explains Carey.

7.  Hire a dog sitter/walker

If you have cats or dogs, it might be worth hiring someone to walk them/look after them, at least some of the time. “Teens will be busy looking after themselves at this stage and it will be one extra safety net until they get more practice,” suggests Carey.

8.  Try to be positive

“Expect the best, not the worst,” advises Carey. “At the core, most teens want to please their parents. But if you imply you can’t trust them, they’re more likely to live up to that negative labelling than try and prove you wrong.”

She says being left home alone could be a valuable learning experience for them, and adds: “Overall, I’d suggest giving them as much autonomy as possible. If you’re constantly ringing and texting them from your holiday, this sends the message ‘I don’t think you can cope without me’. Ideally by the end of the holiday you should come home to teens who feel more confident and capable.”