“In Greece a few years ago, we’re sitting around talking about how close we are and our families. And my mom is there, and she says, ‘Woody, I knew your dad.’ Everyone was aware of the ellipses that my mom left after ‘knew.’ It was a loaded K-N-E-W” – Matthew McConaughey tells a podcast that he and Woody Harrelson are considering taking a DNA test after realising they could possibly be brothers.

“I’ve got something to say about May’s local elections. T-Dawg spitting bars about voter ID selection. So make sure you bring it or you’ll receive rejection” – Trevor Holden, managing director of Broadland and South Norfolk councils, in a rap video reminding voters to take photo ID to the polling station for May’s elections.

“Just as pressure in the East remains, so the peaceful world order which we so took for granted, particularly here in the West, is no guarantee. We face challenges at home and abroad, all of which, I know, draw on our Army to assist in keeping the country safe and functioning” – The King as he attended the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst for the 200th Sovereign’s Parade.

“There wasn’t a jury at this trial but I hope my jury are the people of Earth and I hope that people make their own minds up whether or not they think, whether as some people have said, they should bring back the death penalty and hang me, or whether we should start looking at how we can create a better world” – Patrick Thelwell, 23, as he was found guilty of a public order offence after throwing “at least five” eggs at the King during a walkabout in York in last November.

“I was repulsed and ashamed to read the deeply offensive messages sent by these officers and I utterly condemn their behaviour. I am deeply sorry to those who have been the subject of such awful, disgusting messages” – Commander Jon Savell, from the Metropolitan Police, apologises to Katie Price and her son Harvey following the dismissal of two officers and the barring of six ex-colleagues over offensive WhatsApp messages.

“After a historic vote to strike, our members expect a historic pay award.” – RCN general secretary Pat Cullen announcing that nurses in the union would stage fresh strikes after they voted to reject the Government’s pay offer.