Lemar: I didn’t mourn my mum’s death properly for years

25 April 2023

Lemar has revealed it took him “four or five years” to deal with the death of his mother and “mourn properly”.

The singer-songwriter’s mum, Edna Obika, died from cancer in July 2003, just before her son’s hit single – Dance (With U) came out.

In a new episode of the I Never Thought it Would Happen podcast for the charity Help Musicians, Lemar told charity ambassador Chris Difford: “Iaddressed my mother’s passing about four or five years after the event.

“She told me to put my head down and make it work… so I really wanted to do right by her.”

The 45-year-old added: “I don’t think I really gave myself the chance to address the situation, and that whole feeling, until years later when it interrupted things, and then I was forced to address it, and mourn properly.”

Lemar – real name Lemar Obika – rose to fame after coming third on the BBC’s Fame Academy in 2002, went on to release seven albums and have 10 top 20 singles.

However, as a result of repeated exposure to loud noise, he developed the condition tinnitus, which causes constant ringing in the ears.

He said: “I just remember going to bed one night, the missus was asleep, the house was quiet,  and thinking, ‘What is that sound?’

“I was looking for where it was coming from and woke up the missus. She said, ‘It sounds silent to me’, and then I looked things up and realised I had tinnitus.

“You go through a period of feeling shell-shocked, thinking, ‘I will never hear silence’. But luckily for me, the sound I hear isn’t too intrusive, it’s just a very, very, very high-pitched sound.”

The star, who has two children with his wife, Charmaine, discussed his early life as the son of Nigerian parents who believed studying was crucial.

“I told my parents I was going to take a year off and do pharmacy,” he said.

But instead, he followed his musical dreams, and eight years later got his break on Fame Academy – a last-gasp attempt to make it.

“I had £3 to my name and Fame Academy was a last-ditch attempt to try…it could have all been very different,” he said,

“At the time you think anything is possible, but later on, when you weigh up the odds of things working out, you think, ‘I’d have never tried to do that’ because it is almost impossible – like 1% of musicians get to make a living from what they do.

“With those odds, would you attempt to do it? Probably not. But when you’re young and you’ve got that gusto and that energy, you think anything’s possible.”

There were times when he doubted if he’d continue making music.

“At times I thought ‘I don’t feel like doing this any more’, but it’s kind of like when a footballer finishes their career, as much as they’d like to stop, they need to get back on that pitch, because scoring that goal, it’s a big rush,” he said.

“For me, writing the song is one thing, that’s therapy for me, but getting it out there and knowing it’s touched other people…it’s like wow, it takes it to a whole other level.”

Lemar has just released a new album of original music, Page in My Heart, on his own record label – eight years since releasing his last covers album and 11 years since releasing original music.

“Over 11 years there was a lot of happy times, but there’s been some down times as well,” he said.

“I went through a bit of a downer – I think every artist does – and I’m a super-super-private person and it’s hard for me to express or let people know the intricacies of how hard things can get.”

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