09 June 2021

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: Why it can (sometimes) be a good thing to stay friends with your ex

09 June 2021

Even though it’s playing out in an extremely public forum – both in the media and on a reality TV show – Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West’s divorce seems really quite amicable so far.

On the rapper’s 44th birthday, Kardashian West posted a sweet picture of the former couple with three of their children and the caption: “Happy Birthday Love U for Life!”

The reality star and beauty mogul filed for divorce in February, citing irreconcilable differences. Kardashian West’s touching message arguably suggests she still values their relationship, and that they might be maintaining some kind of friendship.

Of course, it’s not always wise to stay friends with an ex – it depends how the relationship ended, and whether they might be a toxic influence on your life – but if it is possible, there are plenty of upsides to maintaining a positive relationship with a former flame…

It shows breaking up isn’t a failure

There’s sometimes a strange narrative around break ups, that they’re some kind of failure. In a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kardashian West even said: “I feel like a f****** failure, that it’s like, a third f****** marriage. I feel like a f****** loser.”

However, staying friends with an ex can help shift the conversation around break ups. Instead of seeing it as some kind of defeat, it can help reframe the ending as a positive thing, that you’re now moving into a new stage of life. The Wests were together nearly 10 years and have four children together – surely that’s something to be celebrated.

It could make things easier for the kids

If children are involved, a messy break up can become a whole lot more difficult. Presenting a united front can help with home-life stability, and make sharing custody easier.

You fell for each other for a reason

If you’ve decided that a romantic relationship doesn’t work for you, you might find you’re well suited to a friendship. After all, you have so many shared memories and probably a lot in common. Who knows – your ex might be the perfect person to go to when you need advice.

Friendship is good for you

It’s common sense: harbouring negativity and anger towards your ex is hardly going to make you a particularly happy person. Unless there are huge issues that can’t be overcome, choosing friendship could serve you better in the long-term.

It can be easier

When you’ve built a life with someone, tearing it down completely can be extremely difficult and heartbreaking. Of course, the end of any relationship is likely to hurt, but staying friends might make the transition a little easier. It means you don’t have to cut ties with your ex partner’s family, you don’t have to wipe your social media clean of any trace of them, and you don’t have to purge your house of anything they once touched.

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