23 May 2023

How to reduce the chance of car journey tantrums this bank holiday weekend

23 May 2023

As the bank holiday weekend approaches, many families will be planning long car journeys – and a lot of parents with young children will be dreading them.

Keeping youngsters cooped up in a car for hours as you deflect cries of ‘Are we there yet?’ and desperately try to keep them entertained can be stressful, and often results in backseat tantrums from bored and frustrated children.

Dr Sandra Wheatley, a social psychologist with a special interest in parenting and families, explains that while adults can rationalise a long journey is necessary and if it could be different it would be, “These are things you can’t thoroughly convey to a two-year-old, so it’s very common for them to have a backseat tantrum”.

Some children will be more likely to have a meltdown if they’re physically restrained in a car seat, and Wheatley adds: “The trouble is when you’re driving you really need to concentrate, and dealing with tantrums will not help that!”

So how can families about to embark on long car journeys avoid their children having a backseat meltdown?1. Explain how long the journey will be

“Speaking to the kids beforehand about the journey is a good idea,” says Wheatley, helping prepare them for the trip.

And on your side of things, she recommends bracing yourself: “Expect the worst and hope for the best.”

2. Delegate

If you’ve got more than one child in the car with you, try and delegate some ‘jobs’, she suggests. “So if you get stuck in a traffic jam, who might be in charge of telling a story, and who can decide which song you’re going to sing?”

3. Use tech wisely

Tech can help entertain children, with Wheatley saying: “Let the kids take it in turns to listen to a song or choose a story – that in itself, while it might not necessarily stop them squabbling about whose turn it is, will at least focus them on something positive and get them talking to each other, and soon they’ll start laughing, and hopefully dancing in their seats.”

She warns, however, that if you do let them play on tech, you should prepare a reason for taking it off them again when necessary, or it could provoke a tantrum.

4. Avoid sugary snacks and drinks

Although it’s tempting to hand kids a bag of sweets or a fizzy drink to keep them quiet for a bit, Wheatley recommends not giving them sugary snacks and drinks, because it could well lead to a sugar-induced backseat meltdown.

5. Take a reward for the end of the journey

Although sweet snacks aren’t a good idea during the journey, it can be wise to have some treats to dish out as rewards for winning games or good behaviour at the end of the trip.

“Have some sucky sweets, preferably with low or no sugar, ready so they can have them as a reward for being good at the end,” she advises.

6. Avoid milky drinks

Milk-based drinks can sometimes make children trapped in the back of a car feel a bit uncomfortable, says Wheatley.

“It’s a good idea to avoid milky drinks as that can make children feel yucky, and when they’re so young they can’t necessarily tell you, so it could prompt tantrums and whining if they’ve got a tummy ache. Avoid anything that’s likely to provoke a bad mood.”

7. Be prepared with games

Take cards and travel games with you, and encourage kids to use their imaginations – perhaps by making up stories from different pictures you have with you.

“That gives their imagination a bit of stimulation,” says Wheatley, who also suggests playing I spy with colours, rather than letters, for younger children.

8. Take frequent breaks

As well as giving kids (and adults) the opportunity to stretch their legs and go to the toilet, breaks can be used as something to look forward to on the journey.

Wheatley says: “In an ideal world, you can programme your journey and say you’ll stop every two hours or whatever, but retain flexibility and just pray you don’t have to stop on the hard shoulder.”

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